Friday, March 27, 2009

MOB duties

I have mixed feelings when I read other blogs where the mom is really involved in the wedding (and that is certainly today's theme). I love my mother, and she's fabulous, but I can assure you she will not be doing any of the following:
1.) Baking cupcakes for anything
2.) Planning a party
3.) Helping me buy the perfect shoes
4.) Giving me fashion advice
5.) Reading wedding magazines and telling me what she found
6.) Caring about the details like invites, placecards, stds, etc.
7.) Picking an appropriate MOB dress
8.) Offering to cater the wedding herself
9.) Demanding I invite all of her friends to the wedding
 
I know most of this because of my experience with my mother from my sister's wedding.  My dad was the one who went out and started reading wedding blogs.  This is not to say that my mom won't be involved, she just won't necessarily take the typical mom route.  For example, she will be:
1.) Offering to take care of things so that I can focus on schoolwork or passing the bar. 
2.) Digging through her old jewelry to find my something borrowed (even though I will tell her I want to wear the same something borrowed my sister did, she will still say "let me dig around")
3.) Suggesting that we do not need alcohol at our wedding
4.) Shopping around for a new digital camera and videocamera for the wedding
5.) Asking me whether I have a job for after law school
6.) Looking at MOB dresses that look like they would have been worn by women in their 80s in the 1900s. 
7.) Coming dress shopping and commenting on how if I wear a strapless dress, it will fall down.  (My parents had a friend whose dress did this, but her dress was backless and strapless and actually cracked in half.)
8.) Listening to me whine
9.) Helping stuff favors, set up things, and generally doing anything my sister or I ask her to, unless that thing is put down the camea and walk down the aisle. 
10.) Letting me try on her dress and saying optimistic things like, "you're not too fat for it!" (She was a size 3 when she got married. I know this because I found her going-away outfit.  She insists it was "tight".)
11.) Helping me sew stuff, if I decide to make anything. 
12.) Footing the occasional (or frequent) bill. 
 
I'm grateful to have my mom, and I love her very much, but I know she's not going to be a part of the planning the way a lot of moms are.  I'm not really sad about this, because my mom is a pretty low-maintenance person when it comes to weddings.  I think she might very well be satisfied if I hand her a dress, a pair of shoes, and tell her where to show up.  Well, I think she'll want to come to the bridal shower.  The bright side of having low expectations of my mom's involvement is she never fails to surprise me - and sometimes she has an idea, wants to be involved, or solves a problem, and it's great when that happened.  She even helped ice the cupcake's for my sister's bridal shower, which I totally wasn't expecting, but she did a nice job of. 
 

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