"The entire wedding industry feeds on our fear of regret." Ms. Cheese is so darn articulate, I'm envious. In this post, she's talking about the fact that we spend extra money when it comes to weddings because we are afraid that we will look back on the pictures and hate them or that we spend more on a photographer or something else because we are afraid that we will regret not spending that extra money.
Case in point? My latest issue of Brides magazine - which is, by the way, the May-June issue - includes a "Wedding do-over" section where brides list their regrets. It's actually a pretty realistic list. The most realistic? Don't get your upper lip waxed two days before the wedding. (I take at least a week to recover.) Other regrets include not hiring a crappy videographer, buying the right makeup, and my personal favorite, "I would have included my husband more in the planning and not delegated it to other people. My cousin and stepmother-in-law knew more about the wedding than he did." While I agree that this is a realistic regret, and is often a regret for both people in this kind of situation, it made me feel both sad and relieved. Sad for the person whose husband didn't want to be or wasn't allowed to be included in the planning, and relieved that Mark not being involved will probably be the least of my problems - although right now he has the problem where he wants to be involved and I keep forgetting to catch him up to speed with everything I've been thinking about.
Other regrets include not hiring a day-of-coordinator (how you can salve your regret with money) and not...flying to Paris for your gown. Really? Really?
Another section talks about backyard weddings and how you do have to rent a tent, because it might rain and you would regret it if you didn't and it did. I'm not saying that you shouldn't rent a tent. I'm saying that this is yet another example of the WIC preying on our fears of regret, especially because my god, tent rentals are expensive!
So I think in the future I am going to try to look at the decisions we have to make and say, "are we spending this money because we want to? or are we spending this money because we are afraid we will regret it if we don't?" With the economy the way it is, I wonder if we'll regret more the extra $3,000 we spent on a venue that we didn't need when that will be 2.5 months rent it is possible we can't pay.
I think we all know people who have hated their weddings. I certainly do. But I don't feel that sorry for them, because in the scheme of things, its one day, and over the course of your life, you get a lot of days. So I will stop letting my fear of regret paralyze the venue search, and I will not let it drive the budget. Even if our wedding is a disaster, everyone we're inviting loves us enough to know that it wouldn't be intentional.