Sunday, April 26, 2009

Four Weddings and a Funeral

It's on right now on the CW. You know you're watching it too.
Did people have shorter hair in the nineties? Both Andie McDowell and Duckface get married with short hair - nobody telling them to grow their hair out. Duckface wears a flowered headpiece and Carrie wears a juliet cap. Andie McDowell wears a shortish dress and Duckface looks totally like a meringue (I came into the movie two weddings in.)
Also, the differences between American weddings now and English weddings then were astounding. Hats abound in this film - the entire first meeting between Hugh and Carrie is about her hat. Everyone wears hats.
One of my favorite characters is Scarlett who says, after Hugh Grant leaves Duckface at the weding, "it was a lovely dress. I'm sure she'll find it useful for parties."
So here are the lessons I have learned from 4W and a F:
1.) If you are engaged, and sleep with somebody else before the wedding, the marriage probably won't work out.
2.) If you are getting married to the wrong girl, it is better to not call the wedding off when you are actually at the alter - it is substantially less humiliating to be beaten up by your fiance outside the church or in a back room.
3.) If you are the best man, do not say how happy you are that Bernard wound up with Lydia because all of his ex-girlfriends were so ugly, yet you are so glad so many of them could make it to the wedding.
4.) Do not sit a serial monogamist with 5 of his ex-girlfriends at one table. "Oh, you're vomiting Veronica?"
5.) If you are the best man, do not forget the rings. In fact, bring spare rings.
6.) Set several alarms. Don't get your car booted. Don't be late. If you're always late, go to the church the night before and camp out.
7.) Try not to die during a reception - it's a bit of a downer.
8.) Don't give up on true love - its out there.
9.) You do not want to look like a meringue.
10.) Do not ask a woman to list her sexual conquests. She will do so, and it will be very awkward for everyone involved, especially those of you watching with your parents.
Did I miss any?

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