Wednesday, June 24, 2009

2nd Hand Wedding Dresses

Did anybody else see the 100th episode of Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? WTF is with the planner when he wigs out because the bride is wearing a secondhand dress? This couple was so hard up that they actually postponed their wedding - and the planner is giving her crap about buying a used wedding dress?
He makes this face and goes, "somebody wore this before you." And she's like, "yeah, but its not like she had Herpes."
Then he gets all bent out of shape and goes, "I'm not going to let any bride wear a used wedding dress. It's her wedding. She should feel special."
I'm sorry, but why should anybody feel more special because they are wearing a dress that they will wear once that cost a lot of money? And why do we think that the dress is so all powerful that it somehow is going to drive how we feel? I bet most people who wear used wedding dresses feel special because they are getting married to the person they love, and because everyone they know showed up to celebrate and support that, not because they are the first person to wear their dress.
I bought my dress new, but I hope to be able to part with it enough to sell it - I love the idea that it might bring other people happiness, for a lower price. If I hadn't found a dress at RoTB, I probably would have bought a dress from or or the Weddingbee Classifieds. There are even wedding dress consignment shops (I went to the one in Gaithersburg with my sister - I do I do - but their selection was mediocre, a little overpriced, and the sales staff was pretty rude.)
Initially when I mentioned that I would probably buy a dress used, Mark raised an eyebrow and objected. Not because he thought it was an issue of me not feeling special because I would wear a dress that somebody else had worn, but because for some reason he heard "used" and thought "jilted". He was worried about karma. I'm willing to accept this for certain things - like jewelery. One of my friends friends has a 2ct diamond ring that was her mother's, until her mother got divorced. She calls it "the divorce ring" but she wears it. I'm not sure that I would do that. That's where karma gets to me. But with dresses? It's not like you should blame the dress for the wedding being called off (I guess you shouldn't blame the ring either), and it's not like you should blame somebody else by refusing to wear their dress. The majority of dresses I find being sold online were either worn once or were purchased and then the bride found another dress. This is not bad karma. Especially when buying from a two dress bride. "Their haste and indecision is now your shopportunity."
Did anyone buy a used dress? Did anyone buy a new dress because they were afraid that they wouldn't feel special in a used dress? And does anybody who is actually planning a wedding watch Whose Wedding is it Anyway? I find I can't stand it now because the planners and their "you must have this" attitude makes me go nuts.


  1. Well - 1) I bought a used dress. I have no idea what its story is, but I love it and got it for 10% of the original sale price (seriously!) so I don't care. It had been cleaned so I think someone wore it. It kinda seemed like they were still married and just selling it to get some cash and get a giant dress out of the closet but I didn't ask questions. The deal was too good!

    2) I can't watch that show anymore either! I've never seen the designer do anything really personal or creative. They just throw a bunch of money and color-coordinated linens at the wedding and call it a day.

  2. The Queen of England wears a "used" crown and carries a "used"scepter . So I guess the crown jewels arn't "special" enough for osme twits.


  3. My dress is second hand there's no way I could have justified the $4500 purchase price for the same dress new plus the expenses of traveling for fittings. It makes me feel a whole lot more 'special' than any off the rack dress that I could have bought for the same price.

  4. I'm wearing a 1950s prom dress, so it's definitely been used, but I feel special because of it! I love clothes that have some history (well as long as it's nice history and not smelly history!)

  5. Not a big deal to me, especially if it's used by a person dear to me. If my bestfriend hands me over a cherokee scrub, used for several times, and I liked it still, I'd very much appreciate it.

  6. Yeah! I totally agree. Love the comment about the Queen! So true.

    Canadians can try out a new site called as well... it's live in 9 Canadian cities so you can actually go over to someone's house and inspect the dress for damages and try it on. There are new and used dresses for incredible prices.

  7. I hate each and every one of those shows. Call me the wedding show grinch.