Thursday, October 8, 2009

New Poll

A number of you have commented recently about our relationship dynamic and that we plan this wedding together (or pretend to), so this week's poll is asking - who does the bulk of the planning in your relationship?
I've asked people to identify as "bride" or "groom" - and I realize these heteronormative terms may not suit everybody, but I couldn't think of a better way to "classify" people and I find the gendered nature of wedding planning to be interesting, plus I like knowing more about you, our readers. If you can think of a better way to ask, please share in the comments. If you have a funny or interesting story about the planning dynamic in your relationship, please share that as well!


  1. FOB says

    When driving the MOB does the driving and the FOB does the navigating. That gives them each the illusion of control while creating a useful partnership.

    Planning works the same way. As you noted the MOB is "not into details", but she wants to make all the key decisions in the handful of areas that really bother her. In such areas the staff person, AKA the FOB, creates a series of detailed alternate plans and the MOB then selects from the alternatives and tells the FOB to execute the plan. In other areas she supports the FOB in making decisions.

    In dealing with our children we also had the "parent on the spot" rule. Whoever was the "parent on the spot" made all necessary decisions about the children and the missing parent was expected to be totally supportive. This avoids the "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT' types of arguments.

  2. We are so laid back in our planning. I would say my family members are doing a lot of it :)

  3. there's nothing equal about our planning it's all me...i showed my groom your STD and bragged about your fiance's heavy involvement and i got nothing. :)

    he is pretty opininated about how i spend the money :)

  4. I find myself doing the legwork to present options to him, and then get him to weigh in on the decisions so he can't complain about them later. Although I did assign him a couple of things, so we'll see how well he does!