Friday, October 23, 2009

We women do nutty things for beauty.

Nothing strikes me as more ridiculous is wedding planning than women growing their hair out, complaining about it, then getting it done all fancy for their weddings, then chopping it off. But I also don't generally understand how anyone can stand to have long hair. Do you actually enjoy showering, blow-drying, straightening, and producting your hair? I was sitting in class the other day and a girl who is getting married the same day we are was complaining about how long her hair is and how it's driving her crazy and she can't cut it until the wedding. Being miserable and hating your hair for an entire year? My friends, that is not living.

I'm coming up on my one-year-shortaversary (or as Vidal Sassoon would say, my liberation) and I am going back to the chin length bob - mostly because I've had the same haircut for a year and I got bored. Oh right, and short hair is expensive. What's interesting is that the #1 comment I have gotten about my short hair over the last year is "I don't normally like short hair on girls but it looks really good on you." I think it's because I wore my hair pulled back 90% of the time before, and so it actually looks more feminine now that it is short and not scraped back into a tight ponytail. A lot of these same people though, have an expectation that I will grow my hair out for the wedding. The pressure can get pretty intense, not to mention the peer pressure of all my friends who are growing their hair out.

The thing is though, I've been through this rigamarole before. I have bobbed and regrown my hair at least five times in the last ten years, mostly because I would start to feel like I should have long hair. I tried to grow my hair out for my sister's wedding, and the hairstylist was only able to pull it back into an incredibly pathetic ponytail/curly mess. I hate how it looks in most of the pictures (not that it matters, because it's not my wedding and my sister looks gorgeous). I would have been much happier if I had just sat down in her chair and said "screw it, give me a chin length bob with bangs." So when I cut my hair the last time, I decided that I wasn't going back below shoulder length ever again. For me, it simply isn't worth it. Even for great wedding pictures (and why would I want pictures that don't look like me?)

It would be nice to have those gorgeous long flowing curls that some girls have. It would be nice to have a fantastic updo like I had when I went to prom. But all the other days in between - all the work of long hair. All the expectations about how it should look. Not being able to get out of the shower and brush it and let it air dry and look okay. It clogging the shower drain. So not worth it. I'm not a long hair person, when it really comes down to it. If the wedding is truly about us being who we are, at the end of the day, I am a girl with short hair and Mark is a guy that loves me for it.


  1. I don't believe that you should blame the fact that the stylist didn't understand the concept of an updo on your shoulder length hair. Had I still been at Bubbles (FYI Worst place for wedding hair ever) when your stylist finished I would have demanded that the other one fix your hair. Because really, $40 for a ponytail?? Good thing you looked so stunning in your bridesmaid dress that no one at the wedding paid attention to your hair :-)

  2. I don't blame her at all! I was saying that all my effort was for naught anyway, because I didn't have enough hair and the stylist didn't know what to do with hair as short as mine was then. Although I would have appreciated it if she had said, "listen, you're tight on time and I'm not great at updos - how about I just curl it for you and pull some of it back?" So I guess I do blame her for it a little, but I definitely blame the situation more. Worst place ever indeed!

  3. I totally could not deal with long(ish) hair if I had to go through a lot for it. Flat iron on a daily basis? No way! Mine's about shoulder length now and I may look into some "filler" extensions for the wedding 'do but I'm not sure yet.

  4. I prefer my own long hair... I've chopped it off to a bob quite a few times but always HATE it since it really drives me bonkers when it gets in my face... I also don't blowdry, straighten, or product-it-up, since its naturally straight all on its own, which makes maintaining a style much easier, instead of fighting with my bob every day to flip the right way so I don't look like the "that girl" icon... to each their own! :)

  5. Laura you are so lucky! I also didn't mean to imply that everyone should have short hair - I know a lot of people that prefer having long hair. My point was just that nobody should make themselves miserable just to achieve a certain "look" on their wedding day! I hear so many girls complaining about how growing their hair out is driving them nuts that I feel like it's time we all stood up and said, "I'm gonna do what I like and I'm comfortable with." So good for you for doing exactly that! My hair is naturally frizzy and weirdly curly, so it's just downright difficult when it's long.

    Also, Fortunate Bride - I highly recommend doing a trial with a hairdresser before you decide about extensions, etc - possibly with extensions in hand. I think it'll help you decide.

  6. Right after I got engaged, I got it in my head that I "needed" to grow out my hair to put it in a "fancy" hairstyle for our wedding. That didn't last long. The extra length was driving me crazy, and I realized it was insane to let my hair drive me crazy for over a year just so I could have a "wedding updo." I also realized as I was looking back through some old pictures that for me, short hair is a lot more flattering than long hair (I did the chop post-college). So go short-haired brides!! I'm sure you'll look fabulous :-)