Of course we're going to register. I am faaaaaaaaaar too picky about pots to leave it up to people that would think that an 8piece nonstick pot set is better than 2 individual anodized aluminum pots. But that's not the point of this post.
I've had a few friends say recently that they don't give gifts off their friends registries because, "nobody actually wants the stuff on the registry - they just want money." First of all, hearing this always hurts my feelings. Because it's not true, and it's not fair. Some people would surely rather have cash, and there are people for whom that makes sense. My sister found that what they really needed was grownup furniture. But they still registered for things they wanted and needed, and enjoyed receiving those gifts and didn't register for anything they didn't actually need or want. Because why would you? Even if the online app is telling you that you haven't registered for enough, why put down things you don't actually want? Please don't do that. If you can't find enough stuff, tell your parents (who are who your guests will complain to about your registry) that what you would really need is money for your honeymoon, your house, furniture, etc. People understand that you already have a toaster, they do.
The reason this "nobody wants the things on their registry" mentality bothers me though, is because, yes, I do want the things on our registry. And if you just give us cash instead of buying us the Roomba, the cash is going to go into our joint savings account. Instead of buying our Roomba, we will procrastinate and we will buy food with the money instead. When we do go to buy the Roomba, because the money went from being "your" money to "our" money, our instinct will be to save it. It will be to say, "well, the vacuum we have is good enough." We will do the same thing with our pots, our pans, our toaster. When we do buy the item, it will be a cheaper model, because now we're spending our money. It will be to let your wonderful, generous wedding gift go unused or towards other things that are not wedding-gift worthy.
There's another reason though. If you give us cash, we will have to go shop for the item that you could have bought us, but gave us cash for instead. And therein lies the problem with us: we really hate going shopping together (except for to the grocery store). It's pretty much the least pleasant thing we've ever done together. We bicker and we argue and instead of just buying the damn thing off the registry, that we bickered about putting on the registry, we will instead re-evaluate whether we want that item. Then we will research it on Amazon and see if the one we registered for wherever we registered for it is really the best value, the best model. If you had just bought us the damn mandoline, you would have saved us an afternoon of agony and annoyance.
So please, don't listen to people who say things like "nobody wants the things on their registry" and "doesn't everybody just want cash nowadays?" I also like it when people give cash for "a nice dinner out" or to cover the cost of a particular item or service, like a couples massage or steam cleaning the carpets or anything that you think, or know, that they need and would enjoy. If you know the couple wants cash, that is one thing. But if you know they just bought a house and they've been getting by with their crappy college Ikea pots and pans? No, they don't just want cash. If their registry has a lot on it, assume they actually need the items, and assume that they don't, in fact, want the joy of shopping for their own gifts.
Do you think registries are a good thing, or an elaborate hoax by the couple to just ask for cash instead?