Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Oh, hello, wedding burnout.

Um. So I thought about how far away the wedding is. 8 months. Thats...serious planning time. And truthfully, we have a venue, a photographer, a baker, and a dress. That's all.
What don't we have?
A florist (not that we need one, although not gonna lie, the fabric flowers aren't coming along as much as hoped).
A DJ/Band/iPod playlist setup
A caterer
A suit
A hair/makeup stylist

What's missing from this list?

According to The Knot, we should also start our registry I think we'll wait until well, May.

I could let the Knot checklist stress me out. Instead, I'm letting it make me say, "I don't want to do this anymore." I'm not stressfully thinking, "I must get this done." Instead, I'm thinking, "I don't have to do this." I don't! Enough already! Really, I'm supposed to be so stressed about hair and makeup that I should be interviewing stylists now? I simply am done making the big decisions. I don't want to interview DJs. I hate DJs. I don't want to even THINK about bands. All of these things cost so much money and we don't need any of them. Except a caterer. But I fully intend to have a decision by Friday, weather permitting.

There is also the officiant search, which, I will admit, does need to happen now. I've been trying. But church was closed on Sunday and my car was buried under two feet of snow. So that will happen when it happens, and if we have to, we can simply ordain a friend. It simply isn't worth worrying about.

I'm not sure that my approach of simply blowing off the items on the checklist and saying, "we don't need that/don't need to think about that" is a particularly healthy one, but at the same time, as long as we have food, drink, chairs, and a photographer, how badly will the rest of it ruin my life? Or even our wedding? Sure, invitations are important, but those will happen. We could stress about them, but that's not worth it. I don't even want to look at them right now, because Mark doesn't think it's worth discussing until we have to order them, and I'm fed up with planning and then running up against the brick wall of either indecision or "we don't have to make this decision yet."

As far as the things that matter to me, I'm past the inspiration stage, I want to start doing things. I want to start shopping, crafting, planning the things I want to plan. I want to go bridesmaid dress shopping with my friends and take my dress to a seamstress. I want to just order all the stuff for centerpieces, but I'm afraid I'll change my mind. Or that Mark will suddenly have an opinion (although maybe if I get him a Dodge Charger, he'll keep it to himself). So because I can't do the things I want to do, I don't want to do the things I have to do.

Fortunately though, I'm part of a team. And when one teammate can't get the puck in the net, the other teammate takes over and scores. And so it goes, and so, these things will get done. Probably not on the Knot's timeline, but I'm okay with that because other than the caterer, if we can't have the other stuff, we'll let it go.


  1. Well, I have to say that I have never really heard a hockey reference in regards to wedding planning. Very cute.

    And try not to strees out. It's suppossed to be the time of your life, although you seem to be handling it well.

    And don't forget about the wedding rings. :)

  2. I think that's a healthy way to approach the dreaded Knot checklist. I've avoided mine for the last 6 months because it only made me feel guilty about not doing stuff in a timely manner. Or at least, timely according to them. (Real Simple Weddings has a more reasonable checklist if you're looking for an alternative!)

    Plus, many of the decisions I made early in our engagement have been changed because I'm so terribly indecisive. While most of the big things haven't changed, the indecisiveness has cost us a little extra when we purchased things that we won't end up using. So my suggestion to other indecisive ladies is always to wait a while before making those decisions, otherwise you could end up spending more for stuff you'll never end up using. But I know what you mean about being beyond the inspiration phase and wanting to buy, craft, plan. It's so much more fun than thinking about stuff, haha!

  3. @Rick it's been my experience that playing hockey transfers well to all other aspects of life.
    @Miss Fancy Pants - I've so far forbidden myself from buying ANYTHING wedding related, except stuff for flower mockups and centerpiece mockups, because I'm terrified I'll change my mind and have 3 tons of moss sitting around.

  4. The Knot checklist is really crazy. There's just way too much stuff on there that doesn't matter. I recently printed it out, crossed out the things we did already did or don't plan to do, then created my own checklist/timeline with the rest of the things on the list. So now I'm doing things on my own time and it's a lot less stressful! Good luck!

  5. You definitely don't need to have your registry completely finished 8 months before the wedding, but I found that a good way to make this part less stressful was to register online at a place that lets you pick things from any store (I used and then gradually add to it as you happen to find things you like. I started doing this about a year before my wedding, and then when the time came to make sure we were registered for everything we needed, there wasn't much left to do.

  6. Do you need any help with your fabric flowers? I sewed enough for 5 bouquets and I'd be happy to help in any way that I can!

  7. This is a time when it is very easy to burn out. Hang in there and when the day comes it will be worth all the work. Never give up.

  8. I just discovered your blog and was reading through entries and came across this one! Not sure where you are at in planning now, but I just launched a blog called Hi-Fi Weddings ( all about wedding day music. But it's more than just the traditional "stuff" so perhaps if you go the ipod route or something I can help!

    Anyway, hello my name is Ashley and it's nice to meet ya' :)

    I look forward to having your posts appear in my reader from now on!