Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Right Choices

A Los Angeles Love wrote last week about the joys of wedding planning and I thought I would weigh in with one of my biggest joys of wedding planning (besides getting to write again!)- the joy that comes from making the right choice.

The big things we have booked already have brought me enormous joy. True, these are only two things, but they are, arguably, the most important. They are our venue and our photographer. (But I know that we are getting close to finding a caterer, and I know that we will go with the choice that feels right for us, because we have narrowed the choices down to those that work within our budget, so it will all come down to gut feeling at this point.)

I put a lot of stock in the "right choice" because I'm a total second guesser. Pretty much any big decision I make, I will wonder forever if it was the right thing. Most of the jobs that I've taken, I've had second thoughts about. Some of the classes I've taken, I think were wrong choices for me. I also tend to over-think big decisions. I obsess over them, turning them around and around and around in my head until I simply make a decision to stop thinking about it. So the relief that I felt when we walked around Irvine and I knew was palpable. The comfort I feel when I look at other weddings with great venues from the area that I had never heard of, and I know we made the right choice for us? It makes the other things, the fact that our venue will probably put us about $3k over budget, or force deep cuts in other places, so much more bearable. It makes the conversations about how far the venue is from the city, how inconvenient it is for our guests to have to rent cars, much easier to stomach. Because as guilty as I can be made to feel, getting married in the right place meant pretty much everything to me. Everything else can be glossed over in my memory with the passage of time, but I'm fairly certain that I will always remember what it was like to walk down the aisle and to stand there, with the man I love, in front of the people I love, and I didn't want that memory to be marred by the sounds of the highway or the fact that the aisle was too narrow or the Food Lion loading dock or the knowledge that the building behind us was a slave hut or slave jail*.

And for what it's worth, several of you encouraged us to hold out, when I started wondering if there was such a thing as a "perfect" venue, and I'd like to thank you for that. And while I wish you all the joy that comes with making the right choices, I know that we will also make wrong choices and we will have regrets and they will simply be different things than these choices that we have made.

What are your big choices? Did you make them with joy or a bitter "fine, lets just make the damn decision already!"?

*We visited two different venues with these features...oh Maryland, what a proud history you have. And yes, it is our history and we shouldn't cover it up, but I didn't want to celebrate it either.


  1. Ah...that feeling when something is "right" We feel that way about our venue too--I sometimes feel a little guilty that people have to travel a bit to get there, that they have to stay overnight, but they place feels so just right for us.

    Now if I could only feel that way about my dress!!

  2. That "right" feeling. We had it with our DJ. And with our venue. The photographer was a smart choice, but it wasn't a "YESSS!" moment. I didn't have that feeling with the dress, but mostly because I was so uncomfortable standing there in this gown, with my friends staring at me (I brought my 4 'maids and my mom out with me, and I'm not a huge fan of being gawked at and prodded).