Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Another checkmark!

We have a minister! This one was easy; we asked the minister at the church Ellie grew up going to, and he was available for our date so he said yes. We made the trip down to Montgomery County to meet with him this weekend; he took our information, checked that he had us down on his calendar, and gave us a "choose your own adventure" service order as a starting point. Then we chatted for another half hour or so. The conversation definitely put us both at ease; he was easy to talk to, and he's happy to do the ceremony pretty much any way we want.

This wasn't really a big deal in my mind, but Ellie wanted to get it taken care of (ed. note: and the Knot checklist was freaking out that we didn't have one), so she's happy that it's done, and I have to say it's nice to have one less thing to worry about. Now we get to spend the next few months plotting out a ceremony. (ed. note: or not, because really, we would both be comfortable just picking most of the stuff from the booklet if we run out of time.)

We wound up asking the minister from Ellie's church because, frankly, we didn't have any other ideas. Between us we had visited a couple of different local churches as well, but we didn't like any of them as much as this guy, even if he does have to travel a little farther. Since Ellie is affiliated with the church, there's no required fee, but given the travel and services provided, we (or her family) will be making a reasonable donation to the church. The only thing we're not sure about is whether to invite him to the reception (or how to do so un-awkwardly).

Do you have an officiant yet? Where did you find one? Is he/she coming to the reception?


  1. We're getting married in a church, and our officiant is the reverend there, so she "came with" the place -- kindof a package deal!

    Definitely inviting her to the rehearsal dinner . . . not sure about the wedding yet.

    Man, doesn't it feel good to check things off the list???

  2. WOW, the commenting apparatus hates me. Sorry about that! :)

  3. We didn't know our minister at all. Brian's church had a husband and wife minister and they were supposed to do this awesome 2 person ceremony, a couple marrying a couple. Then, 2 months before the wedding the wife was elected Bishop of a region in PA and they would be doing some sort of fancy training in GA the week of our wedding. So they recommended another minister who basically let us pick most of the ceremony. She was great, and we invited both her and her husband to the reception. She performed our wedding with incredible love and grace in a way that we've never seen at another wedding.

    My thoughts are, invite the minister and a spouse, and if they don't want to come, they'll politely decline. Our minister seemed excited that we'd invited her, so I think that they don't get invited sometimes when they wish they would be.

  4. Hey, a wedding question I know the answer to! This rarely happens. I am excited.

    My dad is an officiant. He almost always gets invited to the reception, but he usually only goes if he is friendly with the couple (instead of just a guy they hired to marry them). He is usually invited alone, instead of plus-one.

  5. @eclpse Fixed!

    @Ms. A - I try to throw in an easy one now and then ;).

    I asked another child-of-minister friend; she said:
    He typically gets invited, but that's because he knows the people he's marrying
    if you're not sure if you want to invite them - then don't
    If you're paying them to officiate then you don't need to invite them
    if they're doing it for free, you might want to invite them.

    Thanks Sarah!

  6. We're still kind of working on it, but neither of us is religious, so we're just going to ask a close friend. No big. Only problem is that there isn't really one person that we're both really close to. But we'll figure it out.

  7. My very good friend's father is our officiant (he's also a pastor). We're basically inviting their whole family to the wedding since they were like a second family to me growing up. This was one of the easier decisions for us, though the whole religion thing was hairy.

  8. That is awesome!

    Our good friend is our officiant. She registered through the Universal Life Church online. But yes, she and her wife will be at our reception. Since we are so close to both of them, it just made sense.

  9. Congrats on one more thing checked off! We are having a self-uniting ceremony common to the Quaker faith. We will marry each other without an officiant and have our mothers serve as our two legal witnesses required by PA.