Thursday, July 8, 2010

Wedding Wisdom: Moms

This post by Ms. Bunny has stuck with me ever since she first wrote it.
"I do not understand people who tell me not to worry about my mother's feelings. Wtf. She is my mother. Do you not realize how much of her life she sacrificed for me? Do they disregard their own parents' feelings? I love my mother even though we don't agree and for me to heartlessly break her heart is not cool in my book. While this whole religion issue causes me tons of stress, I cannot and will not hurt her anymore than I have to."  


And that is, in a nutshell, why we spend so much time worrying about our parents and what they think.  Yes, you have to be true to yourself - but there is no need to be mean!  

5 comments:

  1. well said and amen! I get why everyone tells me to just do what I want and ignore what everyone else thinks...but it totally ignores the reality of our relationships and the meaningful role other people play in our lives.

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  2. I agree, moms work hard! I think in wedding planning there is a difference between mothers "feelings" and mothers "opinion" and maybe that's what people are talking about? I don't know.

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  3. I think there are "legitimate" and "illegitimate" Mob or Fob desires. Among the Illegitimate:
    1) Marry or don't marry person X
    2) Profess the religion I tell you to
    3) Promise me you will have children and how many and when, or won't etc.
    4) Don't invite X to the wedding or I won't come or I will throw a fit
    5) I'm paying for this wedding SO IT WILL BE MY WAY
    All these are attempts at improper control of an adult. More legitimate requests

    6) I want to wear the MOB dress that I like
    7) Please invite X , an old friend who means a lot to me on this special day
    8) I'll be quiet about it but Grandma can't eat the Horrid glop you picked, how about a special meal for her ?
    9) Can we have some music old farts can stand?
    10) I want to pick out my own shoes
    11) I want to keep a camera handy and take pictures
    Etc.

    You have an obligation to accommodate their personal requests, but not to let them control your life.

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  4. i agree! it bothers me on a deep level when i hear the other brides to be in my life (girls at work) talk about "their day" and how it's "all about the bride". it's much more to me all about family. loving them. joining them. celebrating two families becoming one. there are *plenty* of things rob and i wouldn't have chosen if it was "our day" but the fact is that even though we're paying this bills the "Day" belongs to everyone spending it with us. Our family most of all. When it comes to parents, it is easy for me to think of all of the days in their life that they have put us first, done for us, saved for us, and bent over backwards. We see this wedding as a chance to honor both sets and give back to them. Give them a day, a celebration, where they will feel loved, honored, and proud to see their babies all grown up & in love.

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