Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Wedding Regret

We mailed our international invitations recently, because we wanted to give guests plenty of time to book hotel rooms. Most of them went to Mark's friends and family, and we used online RSVPs as well as a telephone mailbox we set up through Google Voice. We were a little concerned about some of the older folks from overseas that don't have internet and don't usually make international calls.
However, the "no" RSVPs started rolling in recently, via the mail. It turns out that they make cards for this:
I had no idea they made cards for this - I'm guessing maybe in the UK, sending out an RSVP card isn't as common? I don't know.
We also have gotten a few really lovely notes:
So it turns out that if people want to RSVP by mail, they will find a way, and that by not just giving them a little card to check off, we've gotten some really wonderful sentiments from family and friends. These two are actually people I have never met but they are nonetheless so excited for us, which is very heartwarming.
UK folks, is this actually a thing? Has anyone else run into this?


  1. I think if you're super-ultra traditional about invitations, you eschew the RSVP cards altogether -- your guests are supposed to write their own letter accepting or declining the invitation. My matron of honor's mom insisted they not do RSVP cards for her wedding, but my MOH later told me that no one knew what to do! She said she got tons of confused calls saying "well, I'm definitely coming ... how do I respond?" She advised me to include instructions on how to RSVP :-)

    Anyway. RSVP cards have become the norm in the US, but maybe in the UK it's still normal not to have them and to rely on the guests to respond of their own accord?

  2. I think traditionally you don't include an RSVP card in the UK. You would have the word RSVP on the invitation with an address on the bottome left.

    There is a set formal response which some people use which is 'supposed' to be sent on letterheaded paper. These days, people tend to write a response or purchase a card like you show above. YOunger peeps tend to either write informally or just tell you that they're coming.

    We included a response card with our invitations so that we could ascertain transport requirements and for people to tell us if they were veggie. Some returned only the card but most sent it with a covering letter/note/response card.

  3. I have never seen that! How wonderful though! Next time I can't make it to a wedding I may have to make one or track one down! I only got one note in an RSVP out of over 100 rsvp cards.

  4. Actually - old fashioned invites don't have an RSVP that we're all used to- it's more of a small blank note that people can write anything on. I've seen it a few times but just on super-formal invites.

    We got a couple notes as well. Some people sent no RSVP's with a present. We also got some people who wrote nice things on the inside of our rsvp cards or just simply slipped a little piece of paper inside. I agree though, they're really nice to read and they're keepsakes.

  5. Funny you should mention this. We got a formal invitation and I had to google how the heck to respond with the blank card, I'm slightly ashamed to admit! In terms of our RSVPs, most everyone in the States used the RSVP cards. We sent the rest to himself's parents' place in Ireland, and they all went out from there (with the intention of RSVPs returning there as well). Still, we got an RSVP card with a hand-written note back to our place in Canada! Really unexpected, but a nice touch.

  6. They sell RSVP cards here in Oz. It's old school polite to send one, but most people don't.

  7. yes it's pretty rare to have RSVP cards here in the UK with invitations (though I hadn't noticed really)

    We did rsvp cards ourselves (partly because we bought a design in the US from etsy) and lots of people commented that they thought they were really unusual - but we still had some guests who bought their own acceptance/decline cards and sent them anyway!