I call bullshit.
Okay, for starters, our ceremony was fun.
I wrote our ceremony based on our church pamphlet, Mark gave his thoughts, and then I plagarized a lot from Cupcake Wedding and Weddingbee to make it right. Our ceremony was very personal and we picked readings that meant a lot to us. But even with a totally personal ceremony, it's really hard to feel comfortable. I mean, first of all, everyone you know is there and they are all staring at you!
Secondly, you rehearse, but you don't rehearse specific things. Like, we talked about whether we would face the Reverend or each other, and then wound up standing all awkward like. I highly recommend at least having a conversation, so you're in agreement. Decide how close to each other you will be - I felt like we were uncomfortably far away from each other.
You might not feel entirely present during the ceremony. Especially if you are thinking, "why aren't we holding hands and standing closer to each other?" Then you will be super awkward and put out your hand for him to hold. He will not take the hint that you have suddenly changed your mind about facing each other and would instead like to stand facing the minister and two feet closer than you are right now. You will worry that he doesn't want to hold your hand at all and YOU ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG.
It's okay to talk to each other. I really wish I had just said something like, "you're too far away". Nobody could hear us, since we were outside, and it would have made things easier.
Mark also spent a lot of the ceremony avoiding eye contact. His totally lame excuse later was that he couldn't look at me without crying (collective awwww). I was just worried he was having second thoughts. So don't be surprised if this happens to you.
I was focusing so much on staying present and listening intently that at one point, Mark just looks at me and says, "don't look so scared." At which point, I cracked up.
So my point is, don't expect to feel a certain way. You are who you are, both as an individual and as a couple. Honor that. Laugh. As soon as we started laughing during the wine and chocolate ceremony, I felt better. When we recessed, we joked around as well. Then we ran off into the woods, literally.
Remember - be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.