Friday, April 1, 2011

Thank You Notes

We've finally got out pretty much the last of the thank-you notes, for a few late(r) gifts.  We wrote most of them immediately after the wedding, when we got home from the honeymoon.  We just started writing, and we finished about a week later.  We took the usual division of I write the ones to my guests and he writes the ones to his guests.  Here are a few tips so that you can be sure to get your thank-you notes out on time, in a classy way:

1.) Buy (or, better yet, have printed on notecards that match your invitations), pre-made thank-you notes.
2.) If you think the pre-made thank-you notes are tacky, feel free to just use them as a form.  Your guests don't actually want a heart-felt sentiment, they just want to know that you received their gift.  
3.) The exception to this rule is gifts valued at less than $50 for a couple or $25 for a single person (or people who gave you a check for that amount.)  You don't have to write them a note.  They clearly didn't worry much about you.  
4.)  If there are still people who didn't get you a gift, go ahead and write them a note saying, "we must have missed your gift in the pile, but I'm sure it's lovely, and thank you."  Or just write a note saying, "we loved seeing you at the wedding and our registry at Bed Bath & Beyond will expire soon."  You can also be extra-sneaky, and send them a thank-you note for a gift they didn't give you, because then you will get a gift so that you can correct your error.  Nobody is going to call you and say, "we didn't get you anything."  
5.) If you exchanged their gift, be sure to explain what you exchanged it for.  Everyone likes to know if what they got you is useful, so go ahead and tell them that it wasn't, but you got something that was.  
6.) If they got you something that isn't your style, or doesn't suit your house, and can't be returned, feel free to give it away or goodwill it and then tell them that it went to a good home, and you appreciate the thought but in the future they should stick to the registry.  This will keep you from getting weird stuff for your baby.
7.) Feel free to have a few glasses of wine while you write the notes, and if you spill or make a mistake, just cross it out and write around the spill.
8.) If the person got really drunk at your wedding or behaved inappropriately, it's okay to scold them in the note and then mention at the end, "the KitchenAid almost makes up for your rotten behavior, so thanks, I guess."
9.) For late gifts, feel free to add a snide comment like, "I have heard that you get a year to give a gift, but I didn't think anyone actually followed that."
10.) For monetary gifts that are above the no-thank-you limit but still not enough to buy anything useful with, you should say in the note what the money is going towards, like "thanks for the check, we'll be putting it towards some new bath towels", so that you get your point across.

Does anybody else have some tips for thank-you notes?  Feel free to share!


  1. please tell me this is an april fools joke?

  2. Life on MulberryApril 1, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    New here, so kinda thought this was a joke too ?

  3. I was literally about to cut you from my reader when I remembered the date!

    (Although I'm pretty sure people do follow these rules!)

  4. Haha! I almost didn't get past "3.) The exception to this rule is gifts valued at less than $50 for a couple or $25 for a single person (or people who gave you a check for that amount.) You don't have to write them a note. They clearly didn't worry much about you," and then I remembered the date. Very cute!

  5. You ruined the gag for me with your twitter message to Bird. But still I'm glad you were able to pull a full people over. You are a good April Foolser.

  6. Your post last year was HILARIOUS and totally got me, so I sorta saw this one coming. Although, I do admit I was a bit concerned at first with the form style thank you.

    OK, I have a real etiquette question about thank-yous if you don't mind lending an ear. :)

    I was SO GOOD about writing thank-yous and took awesome notes about who gave us what and who had received their thank you. And then... I lost this list! Yes. I lost it. GASP. This was the list of those who sent cash/checks. I'd say 2/3 of the list got TY's, but I cannot remember exactly which ones. I want to make sure they ALL get one, even if we're closing in on 6 months now. What to doooo???

    I was thinking of re-writing all those thank-yous as I did before, but including a small pre-printed note... Something along the lines of "Oops! I lost my list of who had been sent thank-yous and we'd rather you get two thank-you's than none." Obviously that's a rough draft.

    What do you think? Re-send em all? Include a note? Or just nix the note and re-send 'em all regardless if that means some get two and say say, "Gee this is late." I just feel bad about them being so late at this point and I guess I feel like I need to slightly justify why it's taken 6 months to say thanks.

    Thought, anyone?

  7. Courtney - that is such a hard question! Yes, you need to still send them...for the checks, you should be able to get pictures of the checks from the bank, right? I might try asking people if they got a note, that way you can avoid re-sending all of them.

    I wrote a few duplicate notes and found one recently that I don't know if it was a duplicate or never got mailed. I think I'm going to mail it with a note that explains, so I guess that is what you should do. My bridal shower invites were really late because I had lost the list in the shuffling.

    Six months isn't so long that the note is necessary, but it would probably be a good clarification.

    OR maybe another hunt for the list????

  8. OK that's what I'll do... Generate a new list from the bank statement (easy, that's how I did it the first time) and resend with a note.

    Thanks for the input!!

  9. I was composing a super heated comment rant in my head after #3 that was snowballing the further I went down the list...but I think I got the joke by #6 or so;-) Well played, madam!

  10. Haha, you actually had me going until number 4 as I'm not reading this on April Fool's Day. Very nice joke! I loved yours from last year too!