I was thinking that I tend to talk a lot, openly, about the really difficult parts of being married. And marriage is hard, but it's also awesome. So I thought I'd talk today about the top 10 Things I Love About Being Married. These are all subtle changes I've noticed over the past eight months, small shifts in our relationship dynamic as we transition into being Married, rather than just living together. When people ask me if I feel different, I tell them yes, and they're always surprised (so why ask the question?). So yes, being married is different. And awesome. So:
10 Things I Love About Being Married
1.) I am always happy to see my husband when he gets home. Unless I've just spilled something/made a giant mess, and then he walks in on the kitchen and I'm standing on the floor in the middle of a pile of spilled peas. Which he takes much better than he used to, and he just asks if I would like some help. By which he means he will go get the broom. (Marriage is awesome, not perfect.)
2.) We have fun. We've been dating each other a little more lately, as cheaply as possible. We've been to two movies lately, since we had Fandango coupons from Living Social, and we went to the beach, and we've been going on long bike rides to train for our upcoming UK trip. We didn't spend this much time together when we were in college or I was in law school, at least not without schoolwork hanging over our heads.
3.) When I dress up, my husband notices. This either is new-ish, or I spend so little time dressed up these days that I'm making it easy for him. Either way, I like it.
4.) I get to use the term "my husband", which I'm a big fan of. You may have noticed I throw it around a lot. When I need to get out of something, I can usually just say, "I'm sorry, I have to check with my husband," or, "You'll have to ask my husband about that."
5.) We are a team. We have combined finances, so we have a joint ownership feeling over our money and how we spend it. We ask each other before making financial decisions. When I had my last job interview, we stayed up for an extra hour talking about what questions I might get asked and how I should answer them. We undertake projects together and feel proud of ourselves when we are successful.
6.) We are there for each other. When something happens that totally sucks, like, say, getting laid off, my husband was completely there for me. In a "we're going to be okay" way that he couldn't have been before we were married. Everything feels just a little bit more secure than it did before we were married.
7.) We are constantly learning. We are learning things we like to do together, we are learning more about each other, we are learning more about ourselves. We are learning to be patient and accepting and caring.
8.) We try to be better for each other. I try not to leave my cereal bowls lying around the house, he tries not to complain when I inevitably forget. We make an effort because I know that not making an effort leads to a lifetime of resentment.
9.) His parents let us sleep in the same room when we go to their house. When we visit his grandparents, we've already been invited to stay with his aunt and uncle. Who will let us sleep in the same room. No more twin beds for us! (Except...uh...we're staying in hostels for the rest of the trip. That's so not the point.) But the point is, our families see us as our own family, and they respect us. It's cool.
10.) We don't have to plan a wedding anymore. Sure, I miss planning sometimes, but I don't miss us planning. I don't miss spending all of our weekends and free time talking about weddings. I don't miss driving to the vendors and the meetings and the feeling awkward and the thousand tiny decisions to make.
What are your favorite things about being married or what do you look forward to the most?