Thursday, August 4, 2011


I read the article from Salon about engagement pictures this week.  And it was funny, at least the parts I agree with, about how sometimes, props are a bit silly.  But what really stuck out to me was this quote:
"Planning a wedding is a void of joy for the couple. It involves awful conversations in which you must select who not to invite to your wedding and decide what important thing not to spend money on and compromise between people you love. "  

It's true, in a lot of ways.  The guest list conversations are awful, the what-song-shall-we-dance-to hunt seemed like an endless chore.  The "you spend too much time thinking/blogging about the wedding" talking-tos I got were annoying.  The planning-the-crafts and the adding-to-the-to-do list was awful.  But there was a lot more fun than the writer of the article alludes to.  Our engagement pictures were fun.  Our food tastings were fun.  Going to the organic grocery store to buy the same amazing cheese and crackers we had at our food tasting was fun.  Going to practice our first dance was fun.

When I look back on wedding planning though, the things that really stand out as fun are all of those things we talked about and dreamed and didn't happen.  The travel themed wedding we planned while we hiked through Castleton in England.  The card box made to look like a map container at a national park.  The tree planting ceremony.  All these ideas got scrapped, but the conversations in which we dreamed big and saw where our future could take us have set the stage for the conversations we have now about homes, families, and adventure.

So as much as wedding planning was sometimes a chore, I don't think it was "devoid of joy" any more than marriage is devoid of joy because on the weekends, we do laundry and clean the kitchen and run errands.


  1. Haven't read the article yet, but will in a minute. But I definitely agree: there was lots of joy in our wedding planning. One of my fav. things was the "rebus" invite we sketched out, just to be silly... I kept it and it still makes us laugh. Or how we'd joke that our wedding was going to be more like a 5-yr-old's bday party. Plus, we had a blast listening to TONS of music while creating a playlist or reading through poetry to write our ceremony. Yeah, there were some tense or teary moments, but they aren't what stand out to me.

    I honestly just like doing anything with B, even if that's laundry or grocery shopping.

  2. Yeah I think if your wedding planning is "devoid of joy", you're doing it wrong. I mean, its not non-stop fun either, but if you honestly feel like your wife and her parents are holding you hostage in the trunk of their car, maybe you have bigger issues than silly engagement photos.

  3. I'm not really sure if I ever enjoyed the engagement period. Sure it was fun to make final decisions on things, or finish a project. But getting people on the same page, negotiating religion, being told I was going to hell for getting married in a church other than the Catholic one...yeah not a joyfest.