Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Monday Marriage Matters: Weddings as investments

I've talked a little bit about the idea of weddings as investments on here before, and Becca has covered it as well, but I just wanted to say.  After being married for more than a year, I unquestionably see our wedding now as an investment.

Our wedding was an investment in ourselves, in our relationship, in our baby family.  There have been times in the past year when we've fought and wondered whether we were going to make it as a family.  We wondered where the hell the light was at the end of the tunnel.  When these things happened, I pictured the people we love the most in the world, sitting on benches, watching us swear vows to each other, and promising to support us.
When we go through difficult things, I focus on the words in our ceremony.  I remember how the chocolate tasted and how sweet the wine was afterwards.
Our wedding was more than an investment in ourselves though.  It was, as Becca said, an investment in joy.  It was an investment in happy memories with the people I love the most in the world.  When I think about my family, and the difficult things my cousins, my aunts and uncles, and my parents are facing, I think also about the way it felt to have my cousins lift us during the hora while the rest of our family and friends circled us.  
Do I think that how much you spend on a wedding is at all important in determining the outcome of your marriage?  No I do not.  Do I think any of these things we got out of our wedding are because we spent more money on our wedding?  No I do not.  But the number one tip I see for cutting the budget of your wedding is to invite fewer people, and that is bullsh*t when it comes to the people you love.  No savings is worth cutting important people out of your day, or hurting the feelings of the people you love.  But there is more to an investment than money.  There is time - there is investing a full day, or a full weekend, into your wedding.  Some of us invest energy into crafts, into menu planning, into creating an awesome playlist.  Some of us invest time into pre-marital counseling or creating a ceremony that reflects us.  This is just to remind you that the work that you are doing now, the stress that you are feeling now, it's worth it, and it pays off.  


  1. You know, I was looking at our wedding pictures yesterday. Like really looking at them, thinking about how I would describe those pictures to someone if I had to. I haven't looked closely at our wedding pictures, other than just our portrait, in a long time. I was thinking about how nice our wedding was and what a good expression it was of who we were as a couple. It made me happy that we made the investment so that we can look back at the pictures and recall that day of food and dancing and celebrating love with those people who care about us the most.

  2. I look like I'm naked in that bottom picture...to all your readers, I do have a dress on :-P

  3. Oddly enough I think you devalue the wedding by describing it as an "investment". It was extraordinarily wonderful consumption that can make you feel good for many years afterward. The goal of all human economic activity is consumption. Investment is the effort it takes to produce consumption. It has no value in itself.

    Investing in your marriage is something very different. That falls in the are of human or social capital where the analogies to economic activity quickly break down.

    But it was a great fun party as you can tell from the Photo

  4. This is exactly how I feel about our wedding. Yes, it was more expensive than I would have liked, but I wouldn't have traded a thing. The memories of happiness and joy that day are priceless.