Thanksgiving went well, although, as I suspected, there is no perfect solution to splitting holidays. So we're still working on it.
Thanksgiving also brought up another interesting issue in our marriage - driving. Recently, when discussing our Egyptian friends, Mark turned to me and asked if the mom in the family drove. I looked at him as if he was insane, and said, "of course." (Women in Egypt are allowed to drive.) He shrugged and said he had never seen her drive. I looked at him and said, "I don't drive when we're together." Which is true, except for when we go to some beer related event or festival and I DD.
This weekend, I did more driving on a car trip than I think I've done the entire time we've been together. I don't enjoy driving, and I definitely don't enjoy driving on long car trips. Couple this with the fact that my husband is a major backseat driver (he starts tapping me from like, two miles away to slow down when there is a car ahead with the brake lights on), and that I hate driving stick shift, and yeah, my husband does 90% of the driving when we are together.
I see this dynamic in a lot of couples, and it feels pretty gendered, other than my parents, where my mother drives and my father "navigates" or, sometimes, covers his eyes and cowers in the corner while on mountains and cliffs. I have a number of little old lady clients who do not drive, and have never driven. The reason a lot of people give is that their spouse likes to drive, and they do not. I believe I also used this excuse as to why I do not do the income taxes and got a dirty look from my husband, who also does not like to do the taxes.
I always offer to drive, in the "I'm offering because I know you'll say no" kind of way, but this weekend, I wound up behind the wheel for part of the trip up to New Jersey and the entire trip home, while my husband sat next to me in the car and tried to make pleasant conversation. That lasted for about 20 minutes and then we decided to see if we could download books on tape. We wound up listening to 12 Angry Men for most of the ride, which was a lot of fun, and then the Indigo Girls for the rest of the night, as whoever drives gets to pick the music (I suspect this is a big part of why my husband offers to drive.)
So weigh in - do you drive the most, or does your spouse? Is it always the man who does more driving? In same-sex couples, is it the same way, that one partner prefers to drive? Do you discuss it, or is it just the way it is?