Monday, February 13, 2012

Monday Marriage Matters: Relishing Routine

These posts have gotten difficult to write lately, mostly because our marriage has settled past the difficult beginning (oh, I'm supposed to put another person first?) or the sad fact that life is difficult (unemployment, death, and family drama have all taken their toll) and has now settled into what I thought marriage would be when I first decided that I wanted to be married.  It is mostly work, and coming home, and one of us making dinner, and laundry and cleaning and checking the budget to make sure we are spending and saving appropriately. 

If there is one thing I know from both our past and watching friends deal with their tumultuous twenties and thirties is to embrace the routine.  I choose not to complain that our lives are "so boring".  I choose to relish this time, these evenings spent together doing a whole lot of nothing, because when spring starts and my husband is gone all the time, or when I'm taking a more active role in professional associations and planning events and at meetings all the time, we will long for life to be quiet and "so boring".  Eventually the dues we are paying now for our careers will pay off, and routine will be a luxury. 

The nice thing about no longer being unemployed is that even though we have settled into a fairly dull routine, the fact that we do not go out for dinner every night somewhere exciting is because we don't want to.  It is no longer because we can't.  Our single-income status is no longer "holding us back".  It is simply that we choose to stay home and cook, it is that we don't really care for the bar scene, it is that we would rather watch one of the good Star Wars movies on our small TV at home than the terrible one in 3D somewhere else.  It is funny to realize that our life hasn't changed that much from a year ago, except that the illusion of choice gives us a happier perspective. 

Are you also relishing routine, or are you longing for life to settle down, or are you living an interesting and exciting life and loving every minute of it?

3 comments:

  1. Thank you for this! Great post. xo.

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  2. Ohmygosh, we LOVE dull-and-boring! When we have dull and boring weeks, it's the best. Wedding drama is over... settling into our home and learning how to share space is over... our daily and weekly routines are predictable, and there's a lot of comfort in that!

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  3. It's a weird switch to make in your head, but right now, it's so very nice to have routine. It's easy to feel the world/friends/media telling you that you're boring, but maybe it's okay to relax.

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